I agree with her being paranoid. All this holding back talk could just be mother keeping son exactly where she wants him: beholden to her. Consider whether your partner's codependency is a deal-breaker, suggests Meyers. Take it or leave it. First, that’s nasty. BUMBLE! My boyfriend’s mother is completely dependent on him. She is very loud, has to talk to everybody, and gets in people business. But if you’re claiming your boyfriend as a dependent on your taxes, you have to meet seven requirements. This isn’t going to end well. If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected]. Know that you will never change your boyfriend’s mother. You can claim a boyfriend or girlfriend as a dependent on your federal income taxes if that person meets the Internal Revenue Service's definition of a "qualifying relative." Over time, the once dependent child evolves into an independent adult ― in theory, anyway. That’s two things in your letter that hint at the control is flowing the other way. The dependent must be related to you as a: Child, foster child (placed by an authorized agency), stepchild, or a descendent of any of these For some reason you choose to stay in a relationship with this guy, who is FAR more tightly connected to his mother than just about any other guy you’ll meet after you MOA from him. Not worth it. Like maybe he can’t legit hire her? February 23, 2017, 9:48 am. We are moving in together within the next few months because we both just got really good jobs. However, he’s more than open to helping her move out if she would be willing. Besides this he “passes” the test for the deduction. 45 MINUTES AWAY. Communicate. My parents worked until retirement and pay for their home and bills. Nastasia — Like Wendy says, even if she moves out, she’s still going to terrorize him. I bet it was hard. Otherwise it’s never going to change, no matter how much you want it to. If "he still lives with her or he is at her beck and call," watch out, says Scott Carroll, M.D., a psychiatrist. Steph – Where did she ever live before all this? If you do not file a joint return with your child's other parent, then only one of you can claim the child as a dependent. Is she getting this info herself or is your boyfriend telling her this? Yeesh. February 23, 2017, 9:47 am. its either he really loves her, or she is blackmailing him. She doesn’t take up much space, but she is an emotional wreck and she has no consideration for anyone around her. We got her a car battery and gas the other day, but we do not help her out that much. It appeared I met the requirements to claim him as my dependent. And idk, maybe the “works for him” is more of a domestic arrangement like she lives with him rent free but she takes care of household chores. Constantly calling his phone. To avoid another broken heart caused by … Has the issue not been resolved so far or is it by choice? (I am 21, he is also 21). The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) allows you to potentially reduce your tax by claiming a dependent child on a tax return. So, be clear with your boyfriend that it’s his job to start standing up to her and, if you don’t see clear signs of that very soon (like, in the next month), you should seriously consider moving on already. I sort of disagree with Wendy in that I think it’s not worth talking about boundaries and then waiting to see if things improve. I'm Beginning To Resent My Boyfriend's Mom B/c She's Financially Dependent On Him & Keeping Us From Starting Our Lives Discussion in 'Romance Alley' started by … He doesn’t want to push or nudge or do anything to upset her. My boyfriends mom is causing some problems. Second, his mother likely has decades of life remaining, so you are going to have a very long rate. Suddenly the mother will have propaganda to use with her son against you. – The payment by housing her and feeding her. Tell him how you feel about it. This whole situation is off – I’d cut your losses and move on quickly! Telling him to get help might offend him but it might be you're only choice and he will surely forgive you. Before... 2. I’ve decided that I can’t move in until she’s out because I have two cats to think about and she does not treat her animals too kindly. February 23, 2017, 10:16 am. This is putting a lot of pressure on our relationship, and I’m not sure what to do. Most parents encourage this. You don’t put away any money towards Social Security. This is a really hard one to deal with. She is an adult. Location is 10 miles away but profile says they live in next state over...? She is constantly asking him … Suggest to him that she get a job to pay her own bills. And if your boyfriend or husband with does most, or all, of the following things, he's probably one them (sorry!). February 23, 2017, 3:11 pm. If it's her parents, she is dependent. =) Thats cool. Juliecatharine As a child matures into adulthood, the relationship with his or her mother should mature too. she's only 48? The co-dependency is part of who he is right now. That will solve nothing and will only serve to make you the enemy and to alienate you from the codependent mother-son dynamic. If she’s not making any money – and she’s not contributing to any retirement funds, your boyfriend has essentially committed to taking care of her for the rest of of her life. Really. Is he super good in bed or something? February 23, 2017, 9:50 am, tangerbean I agree with Wendy – even if the mom is not living with you, she is going to make your life miserable if you stay with him. Everything she has my boyfriend pays for or it’s in his name. "Toxic mothers can be very overbearing and cause children to embrace a dependent and submissive role," Bennett says, which may explain … Whitney That your boyfriend has created a non-solution is quite frankly terrifying. If you want to claim your boyfriend on your taxes, all of these must be true: You can’t be someone else’s dependent, even if they don’t claim you as a dependent. If straight women can fall in love with any person regardless gender, doesn't that mean that most females are actually bisexual . Or deal with it the rest if his life. February 23, 2017, 11:39 am. Certainly hold off on any plans to move forward and move in together. Copyright © 2020 Dear Wendy. You need to make very clear — to your boyfriend, not his mother — that you are not moving forward with this relationship until your boyfriend sets some clear boundaries with his mother and gives you some clear signs he’s prioritizing his own well-being and happiness. Have a serious talk with him about this and see where he stands. Plenty of people pray on old ladies in scams like that. What about thinking about yourself? Why June? wobster109 SherBear February 23, 2017, 12:23 pm. February 23, 2017, 11:44 am. And whose idea was it to pay her in housing/food? That's a tough one. He’s open to helping her move out, but only if she’s willing — only if it’s her idea. If she doesn’t go out much anyways, she probably has plenty of time to do the laundry. So yes, we do still live at our parents houses right now. 1 He’s A Mama’s Boy Also, working for food and board is 100% illegal. The problem is the bf. Married to Mama's Boys: Make Great Friends, Bad Husbands A mother-in-law can seriously threaten a marriage. And the only way it will change is if he wants it to, if he is willing to put in the work, and if he is willing to possibly lose his relationship with his mother. I agree such a weird situation. "Of… You might as well say “my boyfriend is ruining my relationship”. Hannanas When she breaks up with her boyfriend (and every future boyfriend) she’ll be right back at her son’s door, expecting to be taken in. The strange part here is that she’s apparently his employee and instead of paying her wages, he’s paying her under the table through living with him and food. 6 Tips To Help You Deal With His Controlling Mom 1. My boyfriend's mom is totally dependent on him. For the health insurance marketplace, a household is typically defined as the tax filer, spouse, and dependents.Under this definition of household, your spouse has to be someone you are legally married to, and dependents can only be those claimed on your taxes as a tax dependent.


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